Trans Racial Adoption

After reading a New York Times article, (see link below) I have a few things to say as a trans racial family. A 'skeptic' is a doubter, a non believer. Maybe the skeptics referred to in this article should look at statistics or really look into the life of a foster child.

I wonder what the 'skeptics' would say about my family? My husband and I are a white couple with three bio children and four black adopted children (three are siblings). We decided to move from our diverse 'rough' neighborhood in the city to a rural farming community (Population est. 1100, there are about seven black people in the area, our kids included) when our oldest bio son was in the ninth grade and the others were not in school yet. The city school was becoming gang infested, just during my sons freshman year alone I had to call 911 twice because of fights that broke out in the parking lot while I was waiting to pick him up.

What got to me in this article were the words like 'racial survival skills' and 'how best to parent a black child'. Really? How about if we teach our kids 'basic life survival skills', ones that teach them how to create great lasting relationships, thrive in school, prepare for college, succeed in the working world?

The children in foster care DO NOT care what color you are, they are looking for someone, anyone who CARES! I will say it...Love is enough! I mean really the only other option for our children would have been growing up in the foster care system and the siblings most likely would have been separated. Is that really better than being raised in a white family?

Yes we took our children out of the city, away from their culture, with the hope and promise to give all  of them the best possible start. We are raising them exactly as we are raising our white children. Equally, as it should be. Yes our black children have mostly all white friends, they like country music  and hip hop, camouflage as well as in fashion, hunting, sports, ect. They will have plenty of time to discover their 'cultural identity' which is not foreign to them by the way. In the meantime, they are enjoying a safe, fun, free of crime education and childhood.

As many times as I hear that trans racial adoption will ruin a black child, I'd have to argue them all! I'd say that my children are well rounded, very well adjusted, non prejudice, popular, smart kids, despite their rough beginning. They are thriving in a white family and a rural community in the middle of farmland.

I am going to 'interview' my teenagers on their thoughts and feelings of being raised by a white family and how in their opinion they think it would have been different being in a black family. I will post their interviews when we're done.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/02/02/in-adoption-does-race-matter/in-adoption-race-should-not-be-ignored

'One Child'

  I was very young, thirteen years old, when I got out the big huge phone book, (you know the ones we used as booster seats), combing through it searching and calling places, looking for a place I could volunteer helping children.

  I was compelled to help after reading Torey Hayden's 'One Child'. I was young, but I was completely fascinated with this outstanding teachers way with the children. How just one caring person could make such a huge difference.

  The only place I could find that will let a thirteen year old volunteer is The Red Cross. They offer a 'candy striper' training course so I took it. I could then volunteer at our local hospital. They could not guarantee I would work with children, but I was still excited. It ends up that I would have to be around when deliveries came in because that was the only time they really needed a volunteer for pediatrics. It was still a lot of fun. Delivering flowers to the elderly was the best!

  I went on to read all of Torey Hayden's books. Her books had a clear hand in shaping my future life. Have you read any of them? What about Dave Pelzer's 'A Child called It'? Cathy Glass? She writes about everyday life as a foster parent. There are many more, but these are at the top of my list.


“How come you ain’t staying to make me good?” And Torey replies, “Because it isn’t me that makes you good. It’s you. I’m only here to let you know that someone cares if you are good or not. That someone cares what happens to you. And it won’t matter where I am, I still will always care.” 
http://www.torey-hayden.com/one_child.htm