An Unexpected Miracle

My life forever changed fifteen months ago!! A solid step forward as I changed my diet, turned into many more SOLID STEPS to the unexpected revelation. My only goal at that time was to try to remedy my current issue, to rid myself of the recurring UTI’s, five in a row.

I researched for ten solid months. I could blog on and on about the shit in our foods that I will no longer eat or make for my family , but I don't have time for that. I’ve already spent months on it and quite frankly, I'm disgusted that one even has to do such research. BUT I am soooo glad I did.  

My starting point was this website http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/. I immediately cleared the cupboards, pantry, fridge and freezer and started the 100 day challenge. It was easy to do, especially because I do like to cook. We weren't big on processed foods anyway, but what my research has taught me about what is in our food has completely floored me. Now, I'm just changing our diet for the sake of our general health.

After the ten months of sifting through and poring over loads of information I finally connected all of my health issues to gluten. Yes, gluten and yes, all of them.

I could have, would have never imagined that all these years have been needless suffering. I guess that’s what happens when you modify the natural make up of a simple crop all in the name of greed.

You will see that what we are eating, cleverly disguised as a bran muffin or onion ciabatta, is not really wheat at all but the transformed product of genetic research conducted during the latter half of the twentieth century. Modern wheat is no more real wheat than a chimpanzee is an approximation of a human. ~Dr. William Davis

I stopped eating gluten fifteen months ago and never looked back. I feel grand! I dropped 38 pounds, my Fibomyalsia symptoms are 90% better and my horrible Endometriosis symptoms are darn near gone (my greatest accomplishment).

It is such a profound change that I am altered, my life has shifted, an unexplainable different that is beyond what my words can express. And I am so damn proud.  

Five years. Twenty babies.

Five years. Twenty foster babies. My heart is full as I am recalling all of their little faces , one by one.
The loss is there too. I can feel it, still after fifteen years.

We had thirteen boys and seven girls come into our lives, most of them were under three years old. Each one touched my life simply by their own.

 Lessons in reality had  me struggling to cope with emotions that I had never experienced.

Fear. Even stronger than joy or love. Fear was present at all times. First I had fears about the child's circumstances, their health, birth family, and the ultimate fear~ the separation in the end. All of which consumed me. Fear would creep up on me even in my sleep.
I am strong enough not to give up but know I will suffer.

Joy. Love. They compliment each other, one brings the other. A baby brings them both. In foster care joy means a healthy check up at the pediatrician, a child that will finally look me in the eye,  one that will let me comfort him after weeks of pushing me away.
Love in foster care, is everything that leads up to the separation. Love is forming a bond even though I know it will be shattered to pieces.  Embracing the child's family and finding empathy even if I have to dig deep to find it.

The chapters in my life have increased by ten fold because of them. Their lessons will carry on within me for all my life.

The four babies that came into our lives without a family unification plan are ours now. A sibling group of three and one more.

The future holds far too many questions. There can't possibly be any harder job to do in life than to raise children.  I will continue on even if I struggle, to move forward in my trying life to raise responsible children.